


There Not There

by KazunaRei



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Amnesia, How do puns?, I guess now there is, Light Angst, M/M, OC Male has it, POV Frist Person, POV Third Person, Sans and OC are already together, Sans helps with the lost memories
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-13 23:07:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10523838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KazunaRei/pseuds/KazunaRei
Summary: Losing my memory was pretty bad. Remeeting friends and getting to know them, again, wasn't so bad since they were so good. Remembering the times I spent with my boyfriend . . . that actually could be the best part.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Why am I doing this? Someone stop me~~~

I woke up to a dull pain in the back of my head and the soft sigh of running machinery. I opened my eyes blinking slowly taking in the area around me. I was in a hospital room a small light overhead illuminating the room. A glance at the window showed it was dark outside through the blinds covering it from what I could tell pass the fuzziness of my vision. Weird why was I here? Was it because of my head? I don’t remember hitting it on anything. I don’t think . . . I shifted casting my mind back. What was I doing? God I didn’t even know what day it was. Not that was anything new, I got bad with keeping track of the days sometimes. But this lost feeling was worst somehow. How long was I here? I looked away from the window to my right and blinked.

This- what- why was there a skull on my bed. No wait. I blinked again staring. It wasn’t just a skull it was a skeleton. A skeleton dressed in a blue hoodie. A skeleton sleeping slumped on my bed.

Why was there a monster in my hospital room? I didn’t know any monsters. I spoke to some but only out of politeness. They were all so helpful and friendly but I didn’t go out of my way to befriend any.

So who was this? I eyed them curiously sitting up from my reclined positon shifting forward to see their face. My right hand slid back and I realized we were holding hands our fingers linked together. My head spun.

What? Why? I only held hands like this with my mom. Who was this??

The skeleton sighed and shifted lifting their skull a bit. “moving again huh? are you actually awake this time or are you faking me out again?”

He, that was male voice a sort of lazy low tenor, sounded a bit exasperated but worried at the same time. How long has he been here waiting for me to wake. How long have I been here? He squeezed my hand and without thinking I squeezed back.

Oh his bones were smooth. I wiggled my fingers feeling them again without thinking. He started in surprised straightening up completely, I stopped freezing, staring at our joined hands then looked up at me. I stared back nervous my free hand curled into the blanket.

“oh you really are awake.” He muttered shocked the lights of his eyes wide. Then the astonishment faded away the smile on his face grew a bit more becoming soft. “hey welcome back to the world of the living.”

That that expression was incredibly loving and warm. Something inside me felt fit to burst, my cheeks burned. This was so strange. Why was I reacting like this? I turned away blinking. “Um . . .” How should I ask? Was there a way to say it without completely devastating him? He knew me obviously but I didn’t know him.

Did I?

"Reizumi?” I twitched. “what’s wrong?” He squeezed my hand gently. I breathed out slowly.

There was no going around it huh?

I took another breath and turned to face him.

“I’m sorry but who are you?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is still going? Okay whatever you say brain.

The silence between us was deafening. His expression immediately dropped back into shocked disbelief the lights of his eyes disappearing before coming back shrunk to tiny points. He looked gutted. A part of me wanted to laugh at the thought, he was a skeleton, he didn’t have any guts. Another part of me felt bad, something inside me twinged, I hated disappointing people close to me. If I felt like that then I knew him right?

Why couldn’t I remember?

“you don’t- you don’t recognize me?” He asked voice shaking the tiniest bit.

I bit my lip looking down, we still holding hands; his grip tightened just a bit. “I’m sorry.” My voice was barely above a whisper.

The skeleton took a breath, a part of my brain questioned how, and flexed his fingers starting to tap the back of my hand. “um do you remember your mom?”

“Yes.” I answered promptly. I remember her round face and dark short hair that tinted brown in the sun like mine and wide brown eyes. Her youthful appearance and how she was always mistaken to be my older sister rather than my mother.

“you remember your family? how many cousins you have?”

“Too many.” I said without thinking, the response instinctive, my family was big. He snorted making me look up. He didn’t look as crushed as before, the smile was more amused than distressed.

“then do you remember Papyrus?”

My brow furrowed as I rolled the word (name?) over in my head. I think I might have seen it somewhere? It was sort of familiar to me. But I couldn’t place a face to it. Or anything else for that matter.

The smile the skeleton wore shrunk some. “you don’t remember?” I shook my head. Distress was beginning to come over his face again; his eyelights drifted off to the side. “what about Alphys?”

I knew who that was but- “Why would I know her?!” I blurted out. His eyelights snapped back to me quivering with his surprise.

“what?”

“What what why would I know her? Isn’t she like some scientist that specializes in robots??” I remember seeing somethings online about the designs of that robot Mettaton and people who studied and worked with robots around the world bowed down towards her. She taught classes on robotics at a university.

“but you- ” He trailed off looking panicked clutching my hand. “Toriel and Frisk?”

This guy . . . I thought dizzy. I gaped, “Why would I know the child that freed monsters from the Underground and the Queen??”

He stared looking resigned, “Undyne?”

The only thing that came to mind was enemies from RPGs. I shook my head feeling as desperate as he looked. “Who?”

“your friends.” He said simply.

I stared blankly. Friends? I have friends? Never mind the fact that two of them was famous, I have friends!? I was friends with them?!

And I couldn’t remember them.

Something inside me ached. I couldn’t remember them. Nothing came to mind as I worked my brain trying to recall anything about them. Aside from what I knew about the child that freed the monsters, the Queen, and Alphys that was in the news and online, I knew nothing else. I didn’t know anything about Papyrus and Undyne. The names brought no faces to mind.

“What’s your name?” I asked looking the skeleton in the eye-eyelights eye sockets.

“sans. sans the skeleton.” Sans looked a bit hopeful.

Sans Sans Sans . . . my eyes darted around the room as I thought. The only thing I could think of was the typing font. Even looking at his face all I could think of was the font.

_Nothing. Else._

I made a frustrated sound causing Sans to rise reaching out to cup my face with his free hand. “hey it’s okay.”

“No it’s not,” I choked out. “I-I don’t can’t remember any of you.”

Sans’ face softened with sympathy his thumb slid over my cheekbone. “it’s okay.”

No it’s not, I wanted to say again but my throat was suddenly clogged and if I opened my mouth I would surely break down. I made a soft hiccupping sound. Sans freed his other hand from my grip and started making circles on my palm.

“don’t worry,” He murmured. “we can figure this out okay? just relax for now and i’ll go find someone for you to talk to.” I nodded sniffling forcing back the tears trying to gather in my eyes. I hated crying. He smiled, or rather the smile he was already wearing widened, and he lean forward before freezing and pulling away stuffing his hands in his hoodie. “right, be right back.” Sans muttered and shuffled out the room. I blinked after him.

What was he going to do??

* * *

 

 I have amnesia. The past six months of my life was gone. Thanks to a bat to the head and a pair of robbers in a convenience store. I suppose I should count myself lucky I remember the important parts of my life and my family but it still hurt that I forgot my friends.

“Will I be able to remember?” I asked after I was checked and questioned.

“You’ll remember the important events quicker than the little things. Family and friends can help with somethings but you may not remember all you lost.” I nodded slowly my eyes flicking over to Sans standing off to the side.

My memory was pretty trashy most days but this would the cake. With how much I lost, even with the help, would I remember everything? God this was gonna be torture, I just knew it. The littlest things kill me when I couldn’t remember them. A missed place sock would bug me when I didn’t find it within five minutes. Oh god, there’s no telling how different my home must look maybe? I don’t know.

I didn’t know.

Sans took my hand, when did he move? I stared at our joined hands blankly then up at him. The smile was reassuring as he starting tapping the back of my hand gently, again, this was something new. Something I’ve forgotten. “it’ll be okay. like she said everyone will help you remember so don’t worry.” I uttered a shaky sigh.

I could only hope it worked out like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's see how long I can do this without screwing up. xDD;;;


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What am I doing I don't know~~

I woke to cheery music and the faint smell of cigarette smoke. Ah my mom was here. I opened my eyes slowly blinking. The hospital room was filled with sunlight the blinds covering the window open. I just could see blurred hints of the sky and white blobs that were clouds. Where were my glasses? I hope they weren’t broken the blue-green version was my favorite. I flexed my hands feeling faintly surprised my right one wasn’t held. Weird how I missed that. I put it out of mind for the time being sitting up; my mom made a startled sound looking up from her phone. “Hey Ma.”

She smiled relief coming over her face eyes bright. “Baby boy.” She tucked her cellphone in her jacket pocket standing. I reached out and she swept me into her arms hugging tight. “How you feeling?” She asked one hand rubbing my back the other sliding her fingers through my hair fluffing it then smoothing it down skirting around the sore spot with practiced ease.

I melted against her. Thank god I remember her. I don’t think I could have handled it if I forgot my mom. “I’m fine aside from my head I guess.” I meant it both ways to be honest; there was still some lingering pain and my missing memories.

“Is the pain bad?”

“Not really, it’s manageable.” I pulled back looking around. “Where’s Sans?”

“Hm? Oh he went to get something to eat. I was surprised he was here so early.” My mom sat back in the chair looking amused and pleased. “He’s just as lazy as you in the mornings.”

“Actually I think he was with me all night.”

“Really? Huh he’s diligent I’ll give him that.” She made it sound like we’re a couple or something.

Something inside me sort of thumped at the thought; my cheeks felt warm again. My mom looked incredibly amused at my blushing making me flush more and I turned away pouting, and yelped cause Sans was there right next to me.

“What the hell?! Don’t do that!” I half yelled half squeaked. I didn’t even hear him come in.

“what i didn’t do anything,” His smile stretched into a grin eyelights bright. “i was standing here the whole time. not my fault you didn’t notice.”

“You were not.” My mom snorted her lips twitching. “You just appeared right before he turned.”

“if you saw me why didn’t you say anything?”

“My son makes the cutest sounds when he’s startled.” My mom beamed. Sans chuckled shaking his skull. I scowled at them both and huffed crossing my arms laying back; and sat up again staring at what Sans was holding.

“Is is that ketchup?”

“yup.” He held the red bottle up shaking it.

What? Why? “What??”

“Why do you sound so surprised?” My mom asked bemused. I turned to stare at her in disbelief. She eyed me back confused. “You know he regularly drinks it.”

“Uh I didn’t know that. At least I don’t know anymore.”

My mom blinked. “What does that mean?”

“I have amnesia, I can’t remember the last six months.”  Horror came over her face.

“What?! You lost your memories!” She grabbed my hands squeezing.

“I only lost a chunk of them.” I said slipping one hand free to pat hers.

“Like like that’s fucking better!” She sputtered eyes wide. “How much did you forget?”

Sans pipped up. “just everything before we met.” His voice was distinctly flat. I glanced at him and scrunched my face up cause ew my mom was right he actually was drinking the ketchup.

My mom’s eyes drifted around the room much like mine did when I was thinking. “You guys met back in May right? That’s- that’s six months ago?!”

“I just said that though Ma.” I gave her a fond exasperated look.

“Did you? I didn’t hear it.” That selective hearing kicks in when you least want it. I shook my head.

“Are you okay?” She squeezed my hand still in her grip.

I curled my pinky around hers. “I will be.”

“You’ll be able to remember right?” She eyed me face creased with worry.

“If I have help.”

“And you want that help right?” She narrowed her eyes and I winced just a bit. Somedays I was too independent for my own good. Even when I clearly needed help I had a terrible habit of waiting until the last second to ask for it.

“Yes. I do want to remember.”

“Good,” She looked pleased. “You’ll help too right Sans?”

I turned catching the reassuring smile on his face. “everyone will help. we won’t leave you to fumble around in the dark.”

I felt my lips curving into a smile and ducked my head the bangs framing my face sliding forward hiding it from view. Hearing those works from Sans made my chest feel warm, something pulsed happily inside me.

It was nice.

* * *

 

I fell asleep and woke later in the day. The sun was beginning to set from what I could tell if the bit of orange flooding the room was anything to go by. Where were my glasses? My mom didn’t give them to me. I don’t think I got pretty drowsy at some point when she was here; don’t remember falling asleep. Oh well, I really didn’t need them I guess. Wasn’t like I was doing much but laying here and sleeping. When could I go home? Ah I shouldn’t have fallen asleep! My mom probably asked when I could be released after I dropped off. Oh actually I could ask Sans, if he was still here. I wiggled my fingers feeling an answering squeeze in return. Oh he was still here.

“Sans your human is moving again.” A new voice spoke very carefully like he was regulating his voice to stay low. I blinked at the first few words. What did he mean calling me that?

“bro we’ve been over this, it’s Reizumi remember?” Sans replied voice filled with fondness. He was tapping the back of my hand again. Funny how soothing I found that. I blinked feeling my eyes beginning to droop and shook my head. No more sleep I need to wake up. As much as I liked sleeping I couldn’t do it all day stuck in a hospital or not.

“Yes I know his name brother, but he is still your human. You are together in a romantic sense after all.”

For a moment I was horrible amused, Sans’ brother rolled his Rs. But the rest of his words registered and my brain stalled.

We we were together . . . in a romantic . . . sense??

I was in a relationship with a monster.

Sans was my boyfriend.

Somehow this didn’t bother me; whether because of my accepting nature or because subconsciously I knew (if that was possible even with the amnesia.) Was that the reason why I acted so oddly around him? It also explained the diligent comment my mom made earlier. The reason why he was here all night. And oh last night too, when he moved towards me . . .

Sans was gonna kiss me.

My cheeks exploded with heat. I wanted to curl up under the sheets and blanket and wait for the weird mix of embarrassment and elation to fade away. I made a strangled sound in the back of my throat.

“HUMAN ARE YOU EVEN MORE UNWELL? SHALL I FETCH A DOCTOR?” Sans’ brother spoke once more his voice suddenly louder it made me jump my heart thumping in surprise.

“nah bro, i think he’s just embarrassed. i can see his red cheeks from over here.”

“WHAT IS THERE TO BE EMBARRASSED ABOUT? HE KNOWS YOU ARE TOGETHER, AND I KNOW AS WELL.”

“uh Papyrus remember what i said about him forgetting things. that’s one of them.”

“Oh.” Papyrus uttered the sound dejected. A part of me ached hearing that sad sound. Even though I was still blushing furiously I sat up turning to face them.

Papyrus was tall. I think if we stood next to each other I would reach his shoulder. And he was wearing . . . wearing . . .

All the blinking in the world did not make his clothes change in the slightest.

“NYEH HEH HEH I SEE YOU HAVE BEEN STRUCK SPEECHLESS BY MY GREAT PRESENCE. AGAIN. FOR YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN which is unfortunate BUT I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL ASSIST YOU WITH REGAINING YOUR LOST MEMORIES.” He boasted happily beaming with a large smile. I was still blinking owlishly at his chose of dress. It was unique, for him at least in my opinion, I don’t know he was a skeleton for crying out loud. A skeleton dressed in a white tee that was barely long enough to cover his ribs with the words COOL DUDE written across the front, it reminded me of those t-shirts you could decorate with paint and glitter, orange shorts tied tight on his hips, rainbow colored knee socks, and a blue baseball cap backwards on his head.

I glanced at Sans. He was gazing at his brother entertained, content, and oddly nostalgic. What an utterly soft look. It was just as loving and warm as the expression he showed me the night before. His eyelights flicked to me and he grinned. “isn’t my bro the coolest?”

I was smiling before I realized it. “Yeah he is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo~~ hope you guys are enjoying this.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know I should be working on my other stories . . .

“How did we meet?” I asked sometime later after eating. I suppose with the two of them here it would be good to get a head start on remembering what I lost.

“AT THE PARK.” Papyrus chirped adjusting his baseball cap. He somehow hid a plate of spaghetti under it. I managed, barely, not to question it.

“y’know the one with the lake in middle and creek running through.” Sans added sipping from the ketchup bottle he was still holding. Papyrus and I gave him veiled disgusted looks.

“Oak Park.” I said blinking in surprise. “Wow. What was I doing out there?”

“SLEEPING.” Papyrus retorted sounding completely unimpressed expression flat.

“yeah you were asleep.” Sans backed him up pleased and amused grinning.

I blinked again cause that honestly didn’t sound like me? I mean usually I go to parks for a reason whether to walk or ride my bike or, like the oversized child I was, swing on the swings. But sleeping at the park?

“YOU LOOK VERY CONFUSED HUMAN.”

“I am confused. I don’t sleep at parks. I play walk do whatever but not sleep.” What was I thinking back then? I racked my brain but surprise surprise I couldn’t remember. I sighed. Whatever then. “So I was sleeping, how did I actually like talk to you guys?”

Sans eyed me worried for a moment but spoke. “Papyrus Frisk and Monster Kid were playing tag; and at some point Frisk ran over near you i guess and tripped.”

“THE TINY HUMAN PLANTED THEIR TINY ELBOW RIGHT INTO YOUR STOMACH. IT WOKE YOU PROMPTLY.” Papyrus seemed very proud of that fact.

Somehow that didn’t shock me. Growing up with eight younger cousins made me something of a magnet for those kinds of trips and accidents with me laying down wherever I could. “That would do the trick to wake me fast.” I said wryly. “Frisk wasn’t hurt?”

“YOU CUSHIONED THEIR FALL QUITE WELL.” The taller skeleton nodded decisively.

“That’s good. So then what?”

“I SCOOPED THE TINY HUMAN UP AND INQUIRED ABOUT YOUR HEALTH. YOU LAUGHED AND SAID YOU WERE OKAY. IF FRISK’S TINY ELBOW CAUSED YOU PAIN THEN YOU LOST YOUR TOUCH.”

I laughed. “Did I really say that? That’s so unlike me. I must have been in a really good mood that day.” God I wished I could remember that sounded like it was amazing first meeting. “After that?”

Papyrus smile drooped I’m sure if he had lips they were be pursed in a pout. “SANS CAME OVER AND STARTED WITH HIS USUAL SHENANIGANS.” The way he said it strongly reminded me of my cousins with their siblings, that special tone of voice with the right amount of exasperation, questioning why the sibling felt the need to do embarrassing things, and affection, being entertained by their silliness regardless.

I laughed again. “What did he do?”

Papyrus palmed his face and sighed gustily. “I HATE THE FACT I REMEMBER THE WORDS. HE SAID ‘YOU’RE A LOT TOUGHER THAN ME I WOULDN’T HAVE THE GUTS TO TAKE SOMETHING LIKE THAT.’”

He told a pun. “Pfft hmhmhm~.” I snorted covering the trembling smiling spreading over my face. “Seriously?”

“YES AND YOU LAUGHED BACK THEN TOO LIKE THAT AND THEN HE STARTED ROLLING THEM OUT.”

Sans’ perked up his smile became cheeky. “i think you mean rattling them out bro.” The look of outrage on his brother’s face caused me to crack. I burst into choked chortles.

“OH MY GOD!” He scowled at Sans and gave me a betrayed look. I laughed harder wheezing feeling tears starting to pool in my eyes. “HUMAN!”

“So-sorreeee! The the looook on your face- hahaha~!” I gasped trailing off into breathless giggles.

Papyrus huffed crossing his arms. “TRULY YOU AND MY BROTHER BELONG TOGETHER. HE HAS SOMEONE ELSE TO TELL HIS AWFUL PUNS TO AND YOU HAVE SOMEONE TO ALWAYS ENTERTAIN YOU SINCE YOU LIKE THEM SO MUCH, FOR WHATEVER REASON.”

I was bad at making puns. I could laugh at them easy but I need a good few minutes sometime to think one up. Papyrus however pretty much set me up for one. I could feel my lips curling into a wicked grin. “Hmhm sorry our brand of humor isn’t enough to tickle your funny bone Papyrus.” The look of utter betrayal he shot me sent me into hysterics Sans broke down as well.

“HUMAN THAT WAS TERRIBLE!” He wailed over Sans and I howling.

Sans reached over patting his arm still shaking with hilarity. “but bro you’re smiling.” I heard Papyrus sigh over my laughter.

“I AM AND I HATE IT.”

* * *

 

 “and you say you’re bad at making puns.”

I snorted turning my head to look at him. It was pretty late I think I couldn’t see the clock in this room, still glassesless, Papyrus was home asleep. “I am bad.” I retorted. “Only reason I managed that one pun was cause Papyrus sorta gave it to me. I’m not you who can turn every other sentence into a pun if given the ability to do so.” After my funny bone comment Sans sort of went pun happy and uttered one it seem every second leaving me in tears and his brother sulking. It was kind of amazing how he rattled them off the top of his head. In fact . . . I smirked. “That’s some amazing processing ability you have sans a brain.”

We cracked up laughing. I can’t remember the last time I laughed so much in a day it was really uplifting. Considering my missing memories the last thing I wanted was to wallow over the fact I couldn’t recall what I lost. Being depressed was no fun. I blinked the few tears that gathered in my eyes away catching the reverent look on his face as he gazed at me. That same feeling came over me again, a strange mix of embarrassment and happy giddiness, warmth pooling in my chest. I flushed again.

“i’m not weirding you out am i?”

I stared bemused at the sudden words. “What do you mean?”

Sans rubbed the back of his skull. “uh you heard what Papyrus said about us?”

“Heh yeah I was awake enough to catch that.”

He eyed me carefully. “that doesn’t bother you? i mean isn’t it strange to hear something like that after losing your memories?” Sans was worried. Did he think he would be forcing me into the relationship? Even though we’re technically already together, but technically we’re also strangers with my amnesia too.

My face scrunched up as I thought. “Uh noo? I mean um no it doesn’t bother me. At least I don’t think it’s a problem. Once I remember it’ll be fine right?” Maybe . . .

“if you say so.” Sans hummed. He looked less tense relaxing slowly in the chair.

“Does it bother you?” I found myself blurting the words out much like he just did. “Are you upset or something?” The lights of his eyes grew wide; his smile took on an awkward tilt.

“heh not gonna lie it was a shock seeing you act the way you use to. y’know the avoiding eye contact after like three seconds of staring and hiding your smiles when you aren’t laughing.” He shrugged. “it’s not as bad as when we first starting to hang out though. you’re a lot more relaxed now i think.”

“Am I?” I tipped my head. “I don’t feel any different, I think.”

“but you are, its slight, but i can tell the different.” He flashed a quirky grin proud.

I smiled feeling that warmth again. “Perks of being a boyfriend hm?”

Sans winked eyelights bright. “the best kind.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is fun though! Puns are hard to think up! D:<


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANGST oh and uh Reizumi remembered a thing.

I was getting out the hospital today. Thank god two days here doing nothing was so boring, even with Sans here talking to me and making puns there was so much inactivity I could take. My mom fluttered around the room checking for things that might be left behind while I sat going over the sign-out forms scratching my cheek. She paused looking over my shoulder. “Are you done yet, slowpoke?”

I rolled my eyes scanning the papers once more. “I guess I am.” My mom sniffed and took the sheets to look over them herself making me roll my eyes again. I flicked a lock of hair out my face looking up and yelped. Sans stood infront of me ever present grin on his face. “Hey didn’t I tell you not to do that?!”

“pretty sure you told me a thousand times.” He drawled eyelights bright. I scowled at him but perked up as he pulled a hand from his hoodie pocket revealing a familiar cream colored glasses case. “you’ve been going crazy with these right?”

“Not so much going crazy but worried I lost a pair of them.” I answered taking the case. “Please tell me these are the blue-green pair.” I didn’t wait for his answer flipping the case open and sighing relief. Yes it was my favorite pair, the ones with the oval shaped lens that was a mix of blue and green that sort melted into each other without losing the individual colors. “Thank you.” I promptly slid them on brushing my hair that got caught under them free. My vision cleared up immediately making me blink. It always blew my mind just how fuzzy things got without my glasses, I could still see but the fuzz was a real killing thing. 20/40 vision was shit.

I looked up blinking at Sans. Even he, who seemed to be always by my side, was much more clearer to me. I didn’t realize how hard I saw staring taking in details, the curve of his eye sockets, his straight teeth, the pinched ends of his grin that kinda was similar to lips, until my mom spoke up.

“Getting lost in his eyes again hm~?” My face exploded with heat. Sans’ grin grew.

“nah i think he’s just enjoying the view.” My cheeks got hotter somehow. I turned away from them pouting.

“Ha you’ve gotten a lot more cute since you starting going out with him!” My mom chortled patting my back.

“Mooom!” I whined.

“well she’s not lyin you are a lot cuter now than back when we first met.” Sans chuckled. I hate you both. I thought looking down, my cheeks were glowing. My mom huffed amused and walked out the room with the release forms. Sans dropped onto the bed next to me taking my hand as always rubbing small circles on my palm. I stared as he did this the feeling was kinda like a cool marble against my skin. I was relaxing without realizing it. “feel better?” I looked up catching the gentle expression he was wearing. Seeing the way his face soften, how his grin tipped more into a smile, the way his eye sockets drooped until they were just barely half-lidded, even the lights of his eyes they more resembled clouds rather than straight lights.

I was blushing again not as furious as before but . . . I ducked my head. “Yeah thanks.”

Sans hummed his thumb still making circles. “no problem.”

* * *

 

Home was only slightly different. There was a few new things, and somethings have been moving around but it was still the same. I stepped through the door eyeing the short brown wooden bookcase that was up against the wall walking towards it. It had my manga magazines on it. So that meant they were no longer pile up on my dresser taking up like a quarter of the space on top. I huffed amused. I wonder who convinced me to get it? My mom tried for the longest time and never managed it. Maybe Sans did, we were together so maybe he wanted some room for his things, if we were living together that is. Were we? I guess I should ask. I ran a finger over the spines of the magazines. They were in order by year of when I brought them. Very nice and easier to see as well I suppose. At least this way there wasn’t the threat of the stack toppling over when I wanted to read one.

There was one other book on the shelf as well. I pulled it free from the end reading the title. _1001 Jokes Pranks and Tricks_ A joke book? This had to be Sans’ I opened it to the first page. Or what should have been the first page but instead there was the cover of another book inside. I blinked staring _The Principles of Quantum Physics_

What why was there a differently named cover for this book? Why were there two covers for that matter? I flipped the cover and stared. It was the cover for the joke book again. I don’t . . . I flipped again and it was the quantum cover once more. I closed the book and stared and turned. “What the hell is this?” I asked shaking the book. I was horribly confused by what I was holding. Could this even be classified as a book if it seemed to be nothing but hard covers?

Sans’ grin grew. “it’s a joke book.”

I gave him a blank look. “No it’s not.”

“no?” He tilted his skull. “then it’s a quantum physics book.”

“That’s is this some kind of magic book or whatever?” If it was why was it set up like this? Maybe there was a joke I was missing here.

“it’s a joke book.” Sans said and he had no right to look so amused. I scowled at him and replaced the book. Whatever that’s not important right now. I walked away from the book shelf to the coffee table moving around it. This was new. It was dark brown and smaller than the other wooden light tan table that was here before that my mom gave to me to have so that the living room wasn’t so empty looking.

“What happened to the other table?” I looked at my mom but Papyrus was the one who answered.

“UNDYNE SUPLEXED IT.”

My brain stalled. I thought the cover book was mind boggling but that’s just-! “Wha-what?!”

My mom looked bemused but nodded. “Yes she apparently suplexed that old table.”

“Why would she do that?” I breathed in disbelief. Of all things to do to that table why use a wrestling move on it?! Who was this I was apparently friends with?

“heh y’know how Undyne gets.” Sans chuckled. I felt a pang in my chest. I didn’t know though, not anymore. Sans realized what he said literally the same second the thought passed over my mind and winced. “uh what i mean is Undyne gets real excitable so much so she can’t help but to act out. that usually means something gonna get flipped.”

“Okay so what happened?”

“UNDYNE AND YOU WERE PLAYING THAT RACING GAME WITH THE KARTS AND BIKES ONLINE AND UNDYNE WAS SO INVIGORATED SHE KICKED THE TABLE AND KNOCKED THE LEG OUT FROM UNDER IT.”

“Oh.” Did she think she broke it and just decide to finish the job? “If it was the one on the right then it wasn’t broken. I mean well it is was but all you had to do was push it back in place.” I said blinking.

“yeah you told her that and she did do that also but well uh  . . . “

“UNDYNE WAS VERY ZEALOUS WITH HER FIXING AND ENDED UP PULLING THE LEG OFF.”

“Oh.” I said again. “That could have still been fixed though.”

“yeah well at that point Undyne was just fed up so she suplexed the table.” Sans shrugged.

I stared blankly at the new coffee table. “O-okay.” All of them exchanged amused looks at my confusion. How could she possible be fed up after that? I guess I just have to meet her again to see. I scanned the living room once more. So new table, new book shelf, the bench that doubled as a shoe box wasn’t under the window anymore. It over by the doorway near the kitchen it also was missing the purple blanket that was folded onto of it. Hmm seeing that made me realize something. I turned to my mom again. “Where’s Sasha? I’m surprised she wasn’t camping at the door when we came in.” All three of them winced and I wanted to facepalm. I sighed. “She got out at some point?”

“Well no,” Papyrus said slowly his voice quiet. A feeling of foreboding came over me my heart began thumping. “I’m sorry to say this human but your clever little cat has perished.”

My heart stopped. “She she what?” Sans was at my side in an instant taking my hand.

“she’s dead. she died about three months ago.”

My head spun. I looked at my mom just catching the way her face crumpled. “How how did she-" I choked out my throat suddenly clogged.

Sans’ expression clearly said he didn’t want to tell me but, “she was hit by a car.” He squeezed my hand. “she managed to slip pass you when you weren’t looking, it wasn’t your fault though, you were pretty much asleep on your feet. a car chase could have gone by and you would’ve missed it.”

I’ve seen what cars can do to any animal that gets caught under the tires. I don’t know if it was a blessing or a curse that I couldn’t remember. I don’t want to picture what her body looked like after being hit. I don’t know if I want _that_ memory back. Just thinking about it made my stomach roll I felt sick. I swallowed blinking back tears. “Wha-what happened to her-"

“you had her cremated. it was uh my idea to do that.” Sans murmured. His expression was stuck somewhere between sympathetic sadness and pleased happiness.

If I had her cremated then . . . I looked around the living room more closely. But I didn’t see any small vases, not on her bench, not on the bookcase, not on the little white file cabinet, not on the stand in the corner. My eyes skimmed the bookcase again and it hit me. That’s why I had it. I wouldn’t leave Sasha’s ashes here in the living room not with _my cousins always over here and tearing the place apart. Have you forgotten what they did to your living room?”_

_Sans chuckled scratching his cheek bone. “ah you have a point there.”_

_“You mean I have common sense.” I laughed._

_“so if not her bench then where?”_

_“Her second favorite place to sleep. My_ room.” I muttered. I walked down the hall barely aware I was pulling Sans with me. The door to my room was wide room as always I walked in my eyes going to my dresser.

Yes there she was. Right on top. The usual pile of clothes and magazines were gone. A little gray vase, the same color as her fur, sat directly in the middle. There was even a little plaque that had the imprint of her paws and her name written in elegant cursive set in stone placed right infront of her. I stumbled towards the dresser breaths hitching. She was really gone. I reached out pressing a finger to one of the paw prints.

So tiny. My mom and I loved that about her. Her tiny little paws. My mom always cooed over them gushed how adorable they were. I just liked touching them. Poking her until she got fed up with me and tried to scratch me. Even with her claws extended they barely got any bigger. I would never get to touch them again.

I would never wake up to a weight on my back or purring in my ear.

Chasing her around home huffing when she abruptly stopped.

Being amused when she tries to get me to resume the chase.

Finding her curled up into a closed crescent moon. The sleepy look on her face when I smiled at her. The way she stretched up on the tips of her tiny toes. The elegant way she sat with her tail covering her feet.

I had tons of pictures of her but it wouldn’t be the same.

Tears slid down my face. I took my glasses off wiping them away. Sans pressed a tissue into my free hand. “we can stay here if you want. i know you want to see your family but if you’re not up to it right now . . .”

I sniffled brushing the tears away. “I-I I’ll be fine.” I cleared my throat. “I just need a moment is all. I’ll be fine in a minute.”

“y’know it’s okay if you want to stay and cry for while.”

“I don’t need too.” I shook my head. “I mean I just did. I don’t like crying so that’s enough.”

“Reizumi.” I reached out again tracing Sasha’s name.

“Sans thank you.” I could feel him staring at me. “For suggesting I cremate her.” I flashed him a trembling smile. “Now now that troublesome cat can’t leave again. She’s here with me the br-brat.” I uttered a watery laugh that became a sob then another one slipped pass and a third. Tears flowed down my face I couldn’t even be bothered to wipe them away. I sounded horrible choking on my cries but I couldn’t stop. Sans pulled me away towards my bed crawling onto it dragging me with him. I whined hiccupping trying to wiggling away but he was insistence and surprisingly strong pulling me until I was half on top of him.

Sans buried his fingers in my hair petting tips rubbing my scalp. I whimpered and he shushed me softly. “shh it’s okay just cry until you’re better okay?” He pushed my head down pressing my face into his shoulder gently.

I cried harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: I actually teared up writing about what I (I?? You meant Reizumi Kazzie) would miss if my cat died. TwT I love that brat so~~.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things aren't so simple and clean . . .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa it's a update :OOOOOO I actually wrote a thing holy shit. Uh I suppose this is dedicated to Twinkle Red Star for showing up out of nowhere and gushing making me all flustered and shit. 
> 
> Thanks~~~~.

I hated crying. It always left me exhausted, especially hated it when I sobbed hard. It left my throat clogged, my nose seem to never stop running, and my eyes ached for the rest of the day from constant rubbing. Even now I was still hiccupping huffing softly sprawled on top of Sans. He was continuing to run his fingers through my hair leaving me completely limp. He hadn’t let up while I cried. Sans knew my weakness, petting my hair was always the best way to calm and relax me. I didn’t want to move. I thought dimly. I was comfortable laying on him. You’d think someone made of bones wouldn’t make a good pillow but it wasn’t bad and I didn’t care. I slept on the floor before this was nothing to me.

I really wanted to stay here but I needed to see my family. “Mmph.” I made a quiet sound pressing my face further in Sans’ shoulder. His petting paused I still felt his fingers in my hair scalp tingling from the aftermath of his rubbing. Really didn’t want to move. I thought again but I forced myself to pushing away from him sitting back on my knees. Sans sat up eyeing me worried there was a large dark wet patch on his shoulder. I grimaced at the sight of it and sniffled. Fuck I needed to blow my nose.

“feel better?” I looked up catching the soft smile on his face.

“A bit.” I pressed a finger to my damp cheek and sighed. “Where’s my mom and Papyrus?”

“your grandma’s house,” Sans eyed me face creasing slightly. “you still wanna go and see your family?” 

Honestly no. I’d rather stay here and not do a thing but . . . My eyes slid to my dresser where Sasha’s vase sat. If I stayed I’d end up making myself sad all over again. I was the type to dwell on things if I didn't have a good distraction. And considering my biggest distraction was now gone and the source of the sadness . . . 

Sans cupped my cheek turning my head bringing my gaze back to him. “even though you don't want to, you’re going huh?” He looked exasperated yet fond. “y’know it’s funny how you always say people should avoid things outside their comfort zone, but you force yourself into things you don't want to do.” 

I found myself pouting. “I don't like to see others uncomfortable.” 

“heh i get whatcha saying.” His thumb stroked my cheek expression tender. It was strange to have someone else that wasn't my mom or family look at me so lovingly.  “you always put other's well being over your own.” He smiled sweetly eyelights soft. I could feel myself beginning to blush heat rising swiftly to my cheeks. My attempt to duck my face to hide the flush was thwarted by his hand slipping under my chin tilting my face up. And he leaned forward. 

Hm? Oh oh! He was going to kiss me. 

I was abruptly assaulted by a mix of emotions: excitement and nervousness, my heart thumped, a part of me fluttered, buzzing in my chest. The sudden rush was weird and had me reeling. I must have been making some strange face cause Sans stopped the lights of his eyes wide. He back away hand dropping. 

I felt disappointment. Relief. 

I can't live like this. I thought dizzy. These contracting feelings will drive me crazy. I thought continuing my relationship with Sans would be fine but nope. My mind and heart was not ready.

“Reizumi?” I blinked vision focusing on him. Sans gave me a worried look and I squirmed in place bringing my hands together picking at the nails.

“‘M sorry.” His face crumbled in bemusement. 

“you’re sorry?”

I shifted on my knees looking off to the side. My nails clicked as I picked under them. “I-I . . .” Surely I upset him reacting the way I did. After I said there would be no problems I go and do this.

“oh,” Sans breathed softly making me glance at him. He didn't look irritated or bothered. Just embarrassed a faint tint of blue on his cheek bones and how did that work? “well this will be different.” He rubbed the back of his skull giving me a considering expression. I blinked in return owlishly. “i suppose you have to get use to that again.” 

Get use to . . .? Wait did he mean kissing?!

“You you can kiss me!” I blurted loudly and winced at how I squeaked. 

“not if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“Th-that was a onetime thing!” I protested. 

“Reizumi.” Sans gave me a disapproving look. I stared off to the side again shifting once more. Mortified and anxious. He was my boyfriend this shouldn't be a problem but . . . I didn't really  _ know him  _ did I. At least not at the moment. And that  _ hurt.  _ That I couldn't even do something as simple as that with him. My eyes drifted down to my hands sitting in my lap. And found my gaze being directed back on him. That expression of exasperated fondness being shot at me. “don't force yourself for my sake, okay? your well-being is more important than my feelings at the moment.” I chewed my lip. 

Your feelings are important too though . . .

Sans pinched my cheek gently, like he read my mind. I made an unhappy sound pouting. He chuckled fingers moving down under my chin tapping. “chin up sweetheart, we’ll make this work.”  

I nodded hesitantly. One could only hope.

* * *

 

When he heard the shower start Sans slumped back with a groan. This was gonna be harder than he thought, harder than they both thought. 

His soul was still thrumming the blank horror coming over Reizumi’s face imprinted on his mind when he moved towards him. He had never seen such a frightful expression from the human before. Sans covered his face breathing slowly. And then after nearly crawling out his skin the dark-haired brunet tried to reassure him even though he was seconds away from a heart attack. 

The skeleton huffed a laugh. His human was too nice for his own good. Caring more for his hurt feelings rather than his panicked reaction. Being frustrated for recoiling, he could tell by the slight furrowing of his brows, the bitter twist of his lips, the emotions rolling off his soul. Upset for being upset. Hurt for his behavior. 

And yeah it made his soul ache to see that. Reizumi curling in on himself from discomfort, it’s been so long since he last saw that distressing wiggling from him he almost forgotten what it looked like. 

But it’s fine. 

Sans sighed sitting up. He’d just have to treat this like it was a Reset. Unlike a Reset though he could have a active roll in this. More than just going along with a memorized script Reizumi's memories were gone, but they can be brought back. Expending effort wasn't a thing he did often, but for his human?

Sans would work himself down to the bone.

* * *

 

I slipped my foot into the black sneaker bouncing the heel on the floor wondering dimly why one was tied properly but the other was tied at the side in a not so effective knot. Laziness I guess. I fiddled with the knot regardless trying ineffectively make it tighter. Or less likely to come apart if I walked. One of Sans fingers hooked under the rubberband holding my hair back tugging it loose so it fell free around my head. 

I sighed. That felt better, I made it too tight. 

“ready?” Sans leaned against my side passing me my glasses. I promptly slid them on. 

“As I’ll ever be.” I hummed and wondered just how crazy my family have gotten over six months. I just know there’s more than likely a bunch of jokes about me and Sans. Hell jokes about me dating will be rampant I’m sure. “Let’s go before they start blowing up my phone with texts and calls.” Sans snorted amused, he knew my family well I see, rising holding a hand out at me. I took it rolling to my feet barely feeling him pulling. I half expected him to let go but his grip only tightened eyelights glinting the grin he wore tipped into something mischievous.

I narrowed my eyes. “What’s with that look?” His grin stretched wider. 

“nothing.” I don’t believe you. He merely smiled at my suspicious glare pulling me along towards the door of my room. We took two steps forward and was standing on the porch of my grandma’s home.

My brain stalled. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh oh man this was fun~~~. I can only hope it was worth the wait~~???

**Author's Note:**

> So does anyone want more~~??


End file.
